Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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