If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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