Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You can't motorboat a personality
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
