White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
