He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
