they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
