I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
