Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize