i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
