Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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