i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
