Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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