Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
