the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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