AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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