LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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