You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize