I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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