Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
