I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
