I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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