she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
