I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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