i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
