god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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