I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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