Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

what?

(479): View more from Arkansas

your penis

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(479): hey, can i borrow that thing you never use? (1-479): what? (479): your penis http://tfl.nu/2nga

Replies (11) Good night (1492) Bad night (3826)
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(850): View more from Florida

hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

(904): View more from Florida

not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

(850): View more from Florida

i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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(850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night? (904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"? (850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants. http://tfl.nu/wk6x

Replies (33) Good night (21638) Bad night (2156)
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(937): View more from Ohio

You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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(937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt

Replies (22) Good night (6972) Bad night (1163)
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(310): View more from California

the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights

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(310): the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights http://tfl.nu/wmcj

Replies (13) Good night (4986) Bad night (1140)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.

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(615): i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver. http://tfl.nu/x8br

Replies (9) Good night (3637) Bad night (819)
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(281): View more from Texas

threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.

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(281): threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud. http://tfl.nu/mjwl

Replies (5) Good night (2377) Bad night (952)
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(716): View more from New York

I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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(716): I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately http://tfl.nu/htr3

Replies (3) Good night (2463) Bad night (820)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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(403): You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something? http://tfl.nu/hj44

Replies (17) Good night (4647) Bad night (1238)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.

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(802): Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/eawi

Replies (7) Good night (3006) Bad night (604)
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(205): View more from Alabama

So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?

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(205): So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life? http://tfl.nu/xark

Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (1451)
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(360): View more from Washington

She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.

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(360): She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone. http://tfl.nu/5hxx

Replies (11) Good night (806) Bad night (1323)
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(716): View more from New York

He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

(585): View more from New York

Find him and marry him.

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(716): He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night. (585): Find him and marry him. http://tfl.nu/d6kn

Replies (5) Good night (2315) Bad night (574)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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(720): I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left. http://tfl.nu/nrse

Replies (9) Good night (450) Bad night (600)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.

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(641): I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3u6a

Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (414)
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.

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(917): I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend. http://tfl.nu/va3g

Replies (0) Good night (385) Bad night (218)

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