Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.