Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time

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  (505): Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time http://tfl.nu/wts0
  Replies (9) Good night (779) Bad night (2757)
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  (310): View more from California

  This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

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  (310): This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/e7vz
  Replies (17) Good night (756) Bad night (4162)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank

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  (602): I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank http://tfl.nu/1dw8
  Replies (8) Good night (5887) Bad night (463)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat

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  (615): i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat http://tfl.nu/x2jk
  Replies (30) Good night (5940) Bad night (1229)
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  (914): View more from New York

  woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again

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  (914): woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again http://tfl.nu/hmop
  Replies (9) Good night (4202) Bad night (627)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes

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  (330): im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes http://tfl.nu/3pbg
  Replies (10) Good night (1236) Bad night (3487)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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  (940): This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing http://tfl.nu/18y7
  Replies (9) Good night (2373) Bad night (966)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.

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  (608): This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat. http://tfl.nu/hchn
  Replies (2) Good night (1165) Bad night (355)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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  (701): in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head. http://tfl.nu/rwbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2644) Bad night (491)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf

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  (716): Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf http://tfl.nu/cswi
  Replies (5) Good night (1074) Bad night (416)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.

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  (541): If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him. http://tfl.nu/336d
  Replies (9) Good night (617) Bad night (718)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.

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  (603): There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here. http://tfl.nu/dbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (264)
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  (714): View more from California

  I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!

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  (714): I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really! http://tfl.nu/ol8j
  Replies (0) Good night (244) Bad night (339)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?

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  (937): Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no? http://tfl.nu/z665
  Replies (2) Good night (586) Bad night (201)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever

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  (309): I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever http://tfl.nu/ei5v
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (181)

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