Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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