Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
