Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
