She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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