how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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