Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
