I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
