4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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