Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
