My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
