I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
