I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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