dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
