I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
