I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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