its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
