People with herpes should wear stickers.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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