so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
God, I missed his penis.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
