Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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