just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
