people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
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