i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
