you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
