STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
