remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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