No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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