youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
