I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm really busy with my period
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