we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
