oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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