Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
