You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
